


We Are SMAP!

by dictionarysays



Category: SMAP
Genre: Gen, M/M, superpowers ftw!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dictionarysays/pseuds/dictionarysays
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shingo wrangles Goro into designing superhero costumes with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Are SMAP!

 

“How long have you been going commando?” asks Shingo.

Nakai frowns, checks in his pants and wants an explanation.

“I can see through your pants.” It takes a second for Nakai to nod, Shingo to grin and for the both of them to agree this is a never-talking-about-again situation.  

An hour later, Goro is covering his crotch and hiding between Kimura and a stool. Shingo’s cackling (something about sparkles and hearts) and in fifteen minutes, everyone else gets the gist. Shingo makes it his duty to let Tsuyoshi know what the staff is or isn’t wearing between breaks and Kimura smacks the back of his head twice. 

Somehow, Shingo isn’t all that surprised when Nakai starts complaining about muscle pain and the next morning his arms are stretching over ten feet.

**POW!**

 

By the end of the week, everyone’s sick and tired of Nakai’s extra stretchy limbs and they seriously contemplate tying him down. Nakai goes out of his way to get the coffee on the highest shelf (he offers everyone else a hand—Tsuyoshi’s the only who can’t say no).

TV privileges get even worse, it doesn’t matter if Goro has the remote or not; Nakai still changes the channel from the room next door. Tsuyopon is almost relieved to be on-camera because he knows Nakai won’t stretch then (but when it’s break he’s stuck between Shingo’s x-ray underwear vision and Nakai tapping his shoulder from the other end of the table).  

Kimura’s worried about Nakai’s transitioning and holds a meeting—but it ends up being more like, Shingo tackles Nakai after the shoot, drags him into their dressing room and holds him back as the others stare; Goro tries to smile but Nakai isn’t having any of that and Tsuyopon’s scared. 

“I know it must be weird to go from being really short to suddenly really long.” And because it’s Kimura, Nakai stops sneering, Shingo lets him go and Nakai promises to stop showing off. 

 

**BOFF!**

 

Tsuyoshi’s takes a little longer to notice.

“I can’t find my beanie. Any of you seen it?” Nakai’s fumbling around the studio, arms stretching far and wide.

Shingo shrugs, splitting an orange with Kimura (“What’s he wearing today?” “A thong.”).  

“Which one?” Goro asks.

“It’s white and blue and there’s a thing at the back.”

“A thing?” Tsuyopon asks too.

“Yeah, you know the one that looks like that other thing I wore last week—except.  _This_ one is more like here than there.” Nakai gestures wildly, trying to charades it out.

Nobody knows so Nakai continues to run around, his outstretched arms getting caught more than once around some of the cameras.  

Tsuyopon wouldn’t usually regret the thought, but he wishes the magazine in Goro’s hand would hit Nakai’s face and suddenly Nakai’s yelping and Goro’s swearing he didn’t do it.

Nakai complains about it being too much like his power (“He does it with his mind; I do it with my arms, same difference!”) and Shingo wrangles Goro into designing superhero costumes with him.  
  
Kimura on the other hand thinks it’s kind of cool. 

 

**BANK!**

 

Kimura hasn’t entirely wrapped his head around the sudden surge of super powers and mentions it to Nakai one night (they’re over at his, something about a broken fridge but Kimura knows he just doesn’t want to drink alone).

“Are you kidding? We now stand for Super Men Always Perfect or something.” Nakai’s only on his second beer, so he’s not drunk enough just yet and has no excuse for the lame acronym.

“I suppose. Isn’t it still strange though? Your back hurts more now.” Kimura plays with the tab on the can. 

Nakai shrugs. 

“I don’t mind! I mean, just last week, I bought shoes in men’s size.” Kimura fixes him with a look that says, not even sometimes? 

He concedes, “Fine, okay, yeah. Sometimes it sucks. It feels like growing pains all over again.” 

Around three am Nakai tries to guess what Kimura’s super power will be. When Nakai suggests laser beams from his ass for the fifth time, Kimura decides to call it a night.  

Nakai can’t find Kimura a pillow, so when he thinks he’s asleep; he stretches his arm out just enough (there’s five feet between them), slips it beneath Kimura’s head and cushions him for the rest of the night.

 

**ZOWIE!**

 

Tsuyoshi comes up with a ridiculous plan.

“Shingo, you keep saying you want to borrow Dragon Quest right?” He’s got Shingo’s attention.

“Yeah! I've just been so busy lately—”

“He spends his free time outside Victoria’s Secret now.” Goro explains, blow drying his hair. 

“I do  _not_. It’s on my way home, I can’t help that. And  _any_ way—how would you know! Don’t tell me you’re psychic now.” Pure terror etches Shingo’s face at the prospect.

“No. My sister saw you. She said there was a man who looked just like you except for the fact he was laughing really creepily and mumbling to himself.” Tsuyoshi shakes his head. “I convinced her it was an imposter.” 

After Kimura scolds Shingo and Nakai swats the back of his head from the bathroom across the hall, Tsuyoshi lets them in on his plan.

Soon after the recording, Shingo and Kimura stand in Shingo’s bedroom, Tsuyoshi and Goro pace in his living room and Nakai stands in the middle of an intersection (he had lost at jan-ken-pon earlier and his whining fell on deaf ears).

“Think he can do it?” Shingo asks Kimura.

“Don’t hurt your head,” Goro warns Tsuyopon.

Walkie talkies in hand, everyone’s in position.

Mission: Get Dragon Quest To Shingo’s Bedroom From Tsuyoshi’s Living Room (Which Is Across Town) Using Only His Mind is on.

Thirty minutes pass of Tsuyoshi’s grunts and Goro’s encouraging words filtering through the walkie talkies (Shingo thinks it sounds like he’s having a baby and Nakai wishes a car would hit him already)—the game gets as far as the parking lot outside Tsuyoshi’s complex before Goro calls the whole thing off.

Goro stays over and nurses Tsuyoshi’s migraine, Shingo tries to convince Kimura to go commando at least  _once_  and Nakai’s walkie talkie dies on him halfway through (he still thinks he should’ve just used his arms) and has to hitchhike home. 

**PLOP!**

 

“What am I wearing  _now_?”

“Pshaw, easy  _peasy_. Leopard print,  _aaaaaaaand_ ,” Shingo manually turns Nakai around. “It’s a g-string. Yanno’, you really have a girly butt.” Nakai huffs and stomps out of the room. 

They’ve been playing this game for almost an hour now and it’s on days like these that Shingo could really get used to this. 

**KAPLOW!**

 

Despite everything, Goro gets along with the others, even if he  _is_  more than just a little curious as to when his powers will come too.

He doesn’t tend to admit it, but he’s thoroughly amused by the perverted grin that finds its way on Shingo’s face every time someone walks by. Nakai stays the same except for the eagerness in the air whenever he walks in, stifling a huge smile, knowing that eventually one of the other four will ask him what’s up and he’ll tell them how much taller he’s gotten that day. Tsuyopon is still rather hesitant about the whole thing, he’s uncomfortable to move anything that’s bigger than an apple but Goro thinks that sweet.  
  
Him and Kimura share glances some days that say how relieved they are, but they both know as soon as they look away; they’ll get back to imagining again.

He’s humming  _Fly_  when it happens.

"You flying or what?” asks Nakai, barely looking away from the Giants game.

Goro looks down at the floor that is now a few feet below from where he is. “Oh. Guess so.”

“Mm.” Nakai’s arm hovers over Goro’s head, “You’ll hit the ceiling.”

It stays like this for a couple of days, but then word gets around (“Nakai’s big mouth” admits Tsuyoshi) and Kimura immediately blackmails Goro into flying him over Tokyo at night and Shingo gets to calling him Superman whenever he can. 

**SWAP!**

 

When Kimura walks in bleary-eyed and really just wanting some coffee, looking like last night’s shoot went too long into the night; Shingo’s giving Tsuyoshi puppy dog eyes and Nakai is clearly not impressed.  

The first thing anyone says to him is, “I seriously want to have sex with you right now.” 

“You’re sweet,” Kimura yawns, not asking Goro before he takes a sip from the coffee in his hand. 

Shingo stops giving Tsuyoshi the eye and instead bites down on his lip, confused, but murmuring all the same, “No, really. Can we have sex?” 

Kimura’s exhausted and wriggling himself into the small space between the arm of the couch and Goro’s legs. “Sure, Shingo.” 

Nakai makes a move and says, “Shingo, stop. Kimura looks like shit anyway, what’s up?” the only problem is, is that it comes out sounding more like, “Shingo, stop’it. Kimura’s having sex with me first.” 

“I’m... I’m going to go that way.” Goro heads over to the opposite end of the room.  

Tsuyoshi’s trying to make love to Kimura’s face and Shingo and Nakai duel.

 

**CLUNK!**

 

Nakai’s locked himself in the janitor’s closet.  

“I don’t actually want to have sex with you, you know,” says Nakai.  

Kimura nods understandingly, despite the fact he’s on the other side of the door. “I know. Neither does Shingo.” 

“Tsuyoshi might though,” Nakai tries to stretch his arms but three feet is the closet’s limit.  

Kimura tries the doorknob again. “You coming out or what?” 

“It’s your fault, y’know—pulling out that sex appeal power shit.” 

Kimura tries not to laugh. “I know.”

“I don’t know if I want to cry or ridicule you endlessly for, like, what, being the human aphrodisiac now?” Nakai pouts in the dark, slapping a broom.                

Kimura laughs into the door, “I didn’t have much say.” 

What Nakai really wants to say is, “How is this power any different from every day?” but he unlocks the door instead and rolls his eyes extra hard at the grin all over Kimura’s face. 

**WHAM!**

 

Goro realizes he’s putting his life in danger by doing this, but Shingo claims he’d never take him seriously and Tsuyoshi’s still somewhat scared of Nakai’s extendable limbs.

Nakai’s sighing through his teeth and paying no mind to his leg that’s blocking both doors when Goro floats over. He prays for mercy and tells Nakai, “Come with me.” It’s dumb, he knows, and the what-do-you-mean-come-with-me look Nakai shoots him reiterates that.    
  
Nakai holds on tighter than Goro thought he would, the feeling is strange but not bad (with Kimura, it may as well have been his superpower)—Goro points out the birds in season and Nakai dares him to crash into a skyscraper. There are a few close calls every time Goro dares, Nakai squeezes and denies his series of raspy screams later.    
  
He lands on a really tall office building, the sky dark, stars low. Nakai tries reaching for the apartment across the street; he’s rambling about being Spiderman’s cousin but even better because he doesn’t need dinky spider web glue.  
  
Goro’s trying to figure out how to go about this. Shingo had come up with a script, apparently Tsuyoshi had edited; but he thought something like this had to come from the heart.    
  
“Why haven’t you told him yet?” Nakai stops talking, but he still wants to reach.   
  
There’s a pause, then Nakai says, “You know.”   
  
“We all do.”   
  
“Does he?”    
  
Goro considers floating between the two buildings, “Don’t know.”   
  
“I used to think he'd show up one day psychic.” Nakai laughs weakly, turning to look at Goro with something akin to relief.

 

**BAM!**

 

Kimura knows there’s something wrong. 

  
Tsuyoshi starts making Nakai coffee with his mind and the older man doesn’t complain once. Shingo avoids his questions by distracting him with what TOKIO’s wearing next door (everyone knows they’re naked more often than not so Kimura has no idea how this works). Goro, the one person he thought he could trust, tells him he’s reconsidering flight—so Kimura has nothing to do but approach Nakai himself.                                                                      
  
“The AD said he had to lock another staff in the washroom until they cooled down. Are you even trying to control your pheromones?” Nakai mumbles.   
  
Kimura’s standing in the doorway. Nakai knows because the hairs on the back of his neck lift but mostly because his spidey senses are tingling.   
  
“What’s going on?” Nakai chooses to ignore the question by stretching his arm out the door and around the corner. A few seconds later, Shingo yells a string of obscenities (“I’ll get Tsuyopon to dismember your arm with his brain!”) and Nakai’s giggling as he lets his arm back into the room.    
  
Kimura doesn’t stop the smile that grows on his face but he stops Nakai cold by touching his arm.   
  
“Nakai.”   
  
Nakai opens his mouth once, twice, it’s his best impression of a fish yet.   
  
Kimura thinks this has gone on long enough so he kisses his mouth—it’s effectively shut.   
  
Nakai pulls back after a minute, “Just so you know, me kissing back has nothing to do with your power—totally voluntary.”   
  
Kimura laughs out like a little boy and Nakai has never been so thankful for his arms when he can shut the door, pull Kimura in close and kiss him at the exact same time.

**ZAP!**

 

Kimura’s superpower is definitely kissing.

  
Fuck flying.

 

**HIYAA!**

 

The next morning Nakai’s humming  _Serori_ off-key.

  
“ _Some_ body got laid.” A prop pineapple zooms across the room and clobbers Shingo upside the head after he says that (Tsuyoshi's moved up to bigger fruit).   
  
Kimura grins with his eyes and Nakai knows the tingle that shoots up his spine is completely natural.     
  
Goro thinks about flying to the moon.

 


End file.
